Communication Breakdown

Communication Breakdown

 

The air conditioner had turned the atmosphere inside the meeting hall shivering cold and the curtains on the window pane had blocked the sun rays making people sitting inside forget that they were in Delhi, that too in summer. The effect of the air conditioner was so apparent that many people who had just entered the room after facing the heat waves outside, either started yawning or began taking a nap. But a politician from Karnataka had least effect of the air conditioner, who was sweating incessantly.

Kumara was there to strike a deal with the Secular Goddess (SG) on the eve of 2009 Lok Sabha elections. With anxiety writ large on his face, Kumara managed to meet the SG. One of our sources within the ear-shots, later made us available the minutes of the meeting. Here are the excerpts:

SG - May Bharat Ki Bahu Hai

Kumara- Naanu Mannina Maga

SG - Oh Tumhara pitaji Mannu hai

Kumara- Alla Ree, Namma Appa Gowda

SG - Oh you mean Mannu and Gowda are one

Kumara- Nai Jee, Mannina Maga means ‘Son of the Soil’

SG - I never knew your father is soiled, I am extremely sorry about it.

Finally a translator is roped in.

Kumara - Helaiah, Manninamaga ondu Gaade.

Translator- Madam, son of the soil means a down to earth person.

SG -- O O. I am so sorry. Koi baat Nahi. Chalo Mudde Ki baat karte hain.

Kumara- Mudde! Neevu Mudde tinteera, Madam! Nammagu mudde andare bahla ishta.

Nanige Sugar irodarinda naanu dinaaglu mudde thinthene.

SG - Probably I am failing to communicate with you properly. I am saying,
let us talk about issues.

Kumara- Haudu, issues. Nannige obba Maga. Nimmage ibbaru issues alva, madam?

SG - Stop it. No alliance for now.

Kumara- Sorry, Madam.

He then turns to the translator.

Kumara- Helaiah translator, nnaavu alliance Gagi bandiddeve.

Translator- Madam, he has come here for alliance.

SG - Is it? Very good. Secular forces need to be united.

Kumara- Houdu madam, secular forces ondu aagbeku. Adikke alliance gagi nanu bandiddene.

SG - Good. What plans you have now?

Kumara- Ee alliance ge nimma oppanda idiye?

SG – Yes.

Kumara- Matte Muhurtha yavaga.

SG - For what?

Kumara- Maduve. Nanna Magana maduve nimma magala jote ge!!!!

SG- Before Robert kills you, I will wipe you out. Get lost.... you…..

Meeting ends with a violent note...